The Table

Allowed entry and denied a place to eat.

Tell me, Is a welcome that denies hunger a welcome?

She did not feast at a table of overflowing abundance

of yellow tangerines and mangoes

red berries and creamy cheese

of olives and wine and crusty bread

of color upon color

and grace upon grace.

Hungry she left.

Alone she wept.

And the Christ in her cries out to the Christ them-

‘My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?’

Shannon Johnston

Ode to Age

 

Do not apologize for

Greying hair

For laughlines

For fading sight.

Do not apologize for

The unstable gait

For hands that shake

For feet that dance a little slower

For ears that hear less clear.

I forbid apology

For the years you wear with grace

For every line etching glory in your body

For the wisdom in your face

For the song that sings from the deepest megaphone within you

That shouts

I lived!

I Lived!

I LIVED!

You will not apologize for who you are

Fierce, Wonderful Woman

A hundred generations born in your womb

Fear calmer

Tear holder

Peace giver

Hope lover.

You do not fade.

You live both whole and scattered

At once here

At once everywhere

in a thousand lives you touched across this earth.

Do not apologize for

Being.

Do not apologize,

You

are

Exquisite.

 

shannon johnston  

goodbyes

If I had to do it all over,

i’d still choose leaving.

except maybe

I’d have thrown you a party,

and showered you with flowers,

told you I still care deeply

instead of evaporating in the summer heat

like I had never been there at all.

but if I had thrown that party,

I think I would have have used up all

my courage to leave.

And so I learn, I am not yet capable of

regretless goodbyes.

day 88

Anger came knocking for 87 days

clawing

pounding

screeching

“Ignore her and she’ll go away,” they  said

“Let her in and she’ll ruin your home” they warned

“Eat more vegetables!” they scolded

“Just be happier than her noise,” they advised

“Pray louder” they decided

Day 88

I stormed to the door

to let her know

where she could go

But paused

(for a reason not like me)

breathed twice

Invited her in for tea.

She was not scary after all,

just so very

very

very

sad.

end

The Mercy of Silence

When I rush after

and judge faster

When I believe I spin the

orbit of my world

Gift me the mercy of silence.

When I grasp to squeeze fame

from your name

Gift me the mercy of silence.

When I busy myself

to fix myself

And demand you speak when I say

Gift me the mercy of silence.

When I’ve grown weary of doing

And saying and praying

Of walking and talking

Of naming each thought

Of protecting and deflecting and collecting

Of reading and pretending

Of buying and selling

Of thinking and telling

Gift me the mercy of silence.

For in the silence I do not accomplish

In the silence I only breathe

In the silence tears remain unnamed

In the silence I find sabbath for my soul

In the silence I am

In the silence You are

Oh gift me the mercy of silence.

 

Shannon Johnston 12/17

River

I doubted that anything big or holy

could find space to live in me

until i grew quiet and still

and present to your smile

of affection

in a bouquet of dandelions.

eternity expanded inside me

and i clutched my chest

not sure how vast space existed there.

Shannon Johnston

 

IMG_2371.JPG

Be

Be

If I were a cloud

I would be

a cloud

floating, dancing, loving,

unity.

I would not claim autonomy

I would surrender in ease

following winds path for me.

I would feel not shame in my

figure

swollen

grey

looming

nor cry

Superior!

When I came

light and airy

reclining on a summers breeze.

And when I found my life poured out in tears,

torrential or soft

I would be content

and surrender

to my call

to be a cloud.

I would be.

Shannon Johnston